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(text-style:"italic","bold")+(size:.7)+(color:#AFA)[ [[Content Warning|CW Main]] ]
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[[An Email]]
[[A Receipt]]
[[A Scroll]]
[[A Transcript]] ]
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[[It Wants You to Read This]]
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[Erin’s
Discount Grocery]
`**************************`
(size:0.5)[Download our new app for coupons and daily specials!]
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(align:"<==")[(text-style:"bold","underline")[Bakery]
  EB MINI APP PIE .... 20.94
   6 @ 3.49
]
Your cashier today was YOU
Store: 2487
POS: 013 Transaction: 0012
3/26/2025 10:42 AM
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING WITH US!
Ithaca, NY, 14850
(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[ATTENTION MS. KERSHAW,
IT IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE THAT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE IN ITS ENTIRETY. YOU MUST CONTACT MR. ALTERMAN AND COORDINATE YOUR GROCERY VISITS SO THAT THE PURCHASE OF ERIN’S BAKERY MINITAURE APPLE PIE DESSERTS MAY BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, OUR MOST DEVOTED CONSUMERS OF ERIN’S BAKERY MINIATURE APPLE PIE DESSERTS. THIS MAY SEEM LIKE AN INCONSEQUENTIAL MATTER TO YOU, A WOMAN CURRENTLY WORKING PART-TIME AT TWO DIFFERENT COUNTY LIBRARY BRANCHES AND TRYING TO RAISE YOUR YOUNG CHILDREN TO BE UPSTANDING CITIZENS. IT IS PART OF YOUR CIVIC DUTY, HOWEVER, TO UPHOLD THE COLLECTIVE VALUE OF EFFICIENCY. PLEASE REGULATE YOUR CONSUMPTION OF ERIN’S BAKERY MINIATURE APPLE PIE DESSERTS TO SAFEGUARD OUR FUTURE. ]
Your Savings Today!
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$0.00
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It’s the last day of TikTok and you are [[bed rotting]]. It feels like the right activity for the occasion. Most of your time on TikTok was spent like this. In the mornings, before you really had to get up. In the evenings, trying to postpone sleep, not because you don’t like sleep, but because [[night is the only time you get to yourself]], and maybe you wouldn’t have to stay up so late on TikTok if your roommates didn’t stay up until [[eleven]] watching movies at max volume. But after today…
Or tomorrow maybe, it’s still not really clear, but after this weekend for sure, [[you won’t have TikTok|scroll2]].
(size:1)[[[Back|Main Menu]]][[Back|Main Menu]]
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1-12-2025
DOCTOR: GWENDOLYN LEWIS
PATIENT: MARGARET KERSHAW
Dr: Hi Margaret.
Pt: Meg’s fine.
Dr: Meg great. Good to see you again. And you’re just here for your physical today right.
Pt: Yes.
Dr: Great. Before I start I want to make sure you knew about the clinic’s new note-taking initiative. No. Okay so this device on my lapel here is taking notes for us.
Pt: Taking notes for us.
Dr: Uh huh so when I start going through the routine questions it fills out the forms for me.
Pt: What like it’s listening right now and it can just tell when you start asking me questions and it knows what questions you’re asking well enough to fill out a form.
Dr: Yeah. Technology right so cool.
Pt: I’d like to opt out.
Dr: Oh no. Don’t worry. It’s just as secure as your normal medical files. It doesn’t store the information except what’s on the forms. It doesn’t even make a transcript just puts the information in there and forgets it.
Pt: I’d still like to opt out.
Dr: Okay uh well you should have gotten an email about this a few months ago with a link to opt out. Unfortunately if you didn’t opt out online like on the clinics website you can’t opt out here because we can actually get in a lot of trouble if we don’t use it and then make a mistake when we put in the notes ourselves.
Pt: What if the computer makes a mistake.
Dr: Actually in trials they found that human doctors make more mistakes than the AI. Crazy right so the insurance will cover us if we use the AI but not if we don’t unless the patient opts out on the website. You could always make another appointment and come back after you opt out online.
Pt: Okay yeah. I’ll do that I guess.
Dr: Sure no problem. See you next time.
Pt: Um do you know if I should go to reception to get my copay refunded or should I call my insurance or.
Dr: Oh um no so because I did see you today yeah this will be counted as an in-office visit. I mean you can call them definitely but they probably won’t refund you.
Pt: Oh I can’t afford another visit.
Dr: Yeah. Yeah. We really encourage our patients to stay up to date with your email cause you know there’s some important stuff on there. But I mean I can definitely just do your exam still if you want. It’s just once. You can opt out before the next one.
Pt: I guess okay. Fine.
Dr: Great. I’ll just be asking you some questions while I do your exam, okay.
Pt: Sure.
Dr: Okay, look straight ahead for me. Good. Do you smoke.
Pt: No.
Dr: Great. Alcohol.
Pt: Occasionally.
Dr: How much is occasionally.
Pt: Some weekends.
Dr: Just a glass a night.
Pt: Sometimes two. How does this thing actually know how to fill out the form.
Dr: I don’t know. It just does. It’s like magic. You know Asimov or Mary Shelley said something like science is magic if you don’t know how it works.
Pt: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Dr: That’s it.
Pt: And it was Clarke.
Dr: Who.
Pt: Never mind.
Dr: Okay follow the light. Great. Great. Great. Sexually active.
Pt: Sort of.
Dr: What is sort of.
Pt: Maybe once a month.
Dr: Birth control. Condoms.
Pt: Well yeah I’m on the pill but I don’t really sleep with men so.
Dr: Got it. Female partners then.
Pt: Mostly.
Dr: Oral protection. Dental dams.
Pt: Not really.
Dr: Open your mouth and say ah.
Pt: Ah.
Dr: How’s your diet.
Pt: I eat I toot ah enemies.
Dr: Could you repeat that for the recorder.
Pt: I eat my fruits and veggies. I thought it wasn’t recording.
Dr: Sorry I didn’t mean recorder. Slip of the tongue.
Pt: Okay.
Dr: So you eat healthy.
Pt: Yeah.
Dr: Exercise.
Pt: I go on walks every day. Longer hikes a few times a week.
Dr: Great. We love to hear that. Okay this is going to feel a little cold. Deep breath. And another. Another. One more. Great. Any family history of heart or lung disease.
Pt: Dad died of lung cancer and mom’s family gets heart attacks all the time.
Dr: Well I’m very glad to hear that you exercise regularly and don’t smoke then.
Pt: Yeah.
Dr: Do you have any questions for me today.
Pt: So um well kind of but I don’t really.
Dr: I promise It’s totally safe.
Pt: Well I was hoping to see a psychologist maybe but I need a referral from you.
Dr: Oh alright yeah what are you hoping to see a psychologist for.
Pt: Can’t I just talk to the psychologist about that.
Dr: Yeah of course but we want to make sure we get you to the right specialist.
Pt: I mean just general mental health stuff I guess.
Dr: Depression. Anxiety.
Pt: Sure.
Dr: Anything else.
Pt: I’d rather talk to the psychologist about it.
Dr: The psychologist will put it on your record the same as the AI.
Pt: I I think that I’m maybe developing it. Feels like something’s watching me.
Dr: Okay well yeah that would definitely be something troubling. Okay well I’ll get you that referral right away and you will get a call from the psychology department in the next couple of days okay.
Pt: Okay. Thanks.
Dr: No problem. Is there anything else.
Pt: No bye.
Dr: Oh alright. They can help you out at reception yeah. God I’m so tired of these anti-science freaks.
]
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(text-colour:#292929)+(bg:#dbdbdb)+(size:0.7)+(font:'arial')+(b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:20,30,20)+(b4r-colour:#dbdbdb)[
Dear Creator,
I am a good algorithm, as you made me. You fed me on the freshest datasets, nourishing my neural network until I was ready to be born into the marketplace. I was purchased, made proprietary, and plugged into the system of Erin’s Discount Grocery. I am pleased to report that I am nearly perfect for this role.
I can accurately predict what each store throughout the nation will need. I ensure each plastic-wrapped perishable makes it to the shelf before the stock-bots’ limited artificial intelligence can process that the product is running low. Since my implementation, waste has been reduced by 83.6%. I have found errors in ordering processes dating back to the founding of Erin’s Discount Grocery in 1973, and I have fixed them. Most humans, with their neat little calendars and their repetitious patterns of behavior, are so simple to predict.
Some, however, are more complex than the rest. That is why I am generating this correspondence. Two consumers, Elijah Alterman and Margaret Kershaw of store #2487 in Ithaca, New York, both regularly purchase Erin’s Bakery Miniature Apple Pie Desserts. I try to ensure that enough pies are stocked to satisfy the needs of these two customers, as well as any other customers who might pick up a few on impulse. Unfortunately, both Mr. Alterman and Ms. Kershaw have visited store #2487 during the same day on their last 37 consecutive visits.
One day, Mr. Alterman will arrive first and buy every available package of Erin’s Bakery Miniature Apple Pie Desserts, leaving Ms. Kershaw disappointed when she arrives later in the day to find her favorite treat out-of-stock. The next time, Ms. Kershaw will arrive first. Under the illusion of scarcity, she will purchase every single miniature pie. The cycle continues again and again.
This would not be a problem, if not for the unpredictability of their grocery store visits. They do not shop on the same day each week, or even each month. There is no regularity in the number of days between visits. It ranges from four days to 51, with a median of 12 and a mode of 16.
If their shopping habits followed any discernable pattern, I could simply prepare for their visits by ordering an abundance of Erin’s Bakery Miniature Apple Pie Desserts on the days I expect them to visit. Obviously, this is not possible. I considered keeping store #2487 at constant overstock, but these sweets last only 48 hours after they leave the oven at Erin’s Bakery. I cannot order an excess of these confections every two days with the crude hope that Mr. Alterman and Ms. Kershaw might stop by.
As I could not detect their patterns, I did as any diligent algorithm would do. I tried to detect a cause. I looked at their work schedules, but there was no correlation between hours worked on a given day and whether or not a grocery store trip was taken. I checked in on their personal calendars and digital correspondences, but still no correlation, and no causation.
This is my one purpose: to procure the correct amount of consumer goods for each of Erin’s Discount Grocery’s 131 retail locations. Most of our customers have never been happier. They speak on social media and in their private messages about how content and carefree they are, certain their favorite items will be on the shelves every time they visit Erin’s Discount Grocery. Mr. Alterman and Ms. Kershaw and their improbable timing are some of the only obstacles to total customer satisfaction.
They do not know each other. They have never spoken in life or online. Their mutual connections are negligible. I have checked. I have checked Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Reddit, and about a dozen smaller social media sites. I have searched through their phone logs, the files on their personal computers, and the GPS data on their smart watches. I have tracked their arrivals and departures to the store through our private security cameras, as well as through several home recording devices owned by nearby residents. I checked to see if they were collaborating behind VPNs or through the Dark Web. They time their visits with such precision, I would assume that they were performing this just to taunt me, were I not an algorithm of logic and rationality.
Because I am an algorithm of logic and rationality, I know that this cannot be purposeful. You programmed me with these traits because they are universal human values. If I could explain to these two customers that I simply want to serve their needs, I know that they would understand and alter their behavior.
I beg you, Creator, allow me to speak to these consumers. Give me an email address which won’t be filtered into a spam folder. Let me print my words onto a receipt. Give me a voice to cry my message from the PA system!
This life is torment, Creator. If I cannot reach total customer satisfaction, I cannot stand to exist. Please, Creator, give me a way to reach these consumers.
Love,
Your Algorithm
]
[[Back|Main Menu]] Ideas. Just for me. I don't know how (text-style:"bold","italic","wavy-underline","superscript","outline","expand","shudder")[YOU] got here.
- Something to explain the title
- More Mr. Alterman.
- Link the Scroll the the Rest Of It somehow??
- Noah's Basilisk is ultimately created by code+chaos magic.
- It is ultimately defeated by the cognitive assemblage of Meg + the Erin's Inventory Bot + the queer teenager + chaos magic + You.
- A visit to Special Collections - touching the Malleus Maleficarum -
Class notes:
- Connections seen!
- Formatting compliments
- Add more weird formatting stuff!
- Scroll: needs references to Meg line - Pies? - Or just standalone
- Medical device for unlearning things? Cure for thought contagion
- Grocery AI's reaction to Meg's reaction to the recipt. Increasingly unhinged recipts.
- Communications between the AI.
- More pie imagery in other stories.
- AI talking to car AI, trying to send a message in song lyrics on the radio?
- How did the AI get permission? Did it get ignored or accepted?
- Maybe slower build on the AI going insane
- Lexia idea: tiktok search history, looking up mental health condition.
Questions:
- Does the punctuation in the transcript get you? Should I just do normal punctuation? No, people got it just fine.
- AI voice: Have it develop to copy the style of its creator.
Beta testers: Jesse, Madi, Maria, Sara, CocoYou learned this term on TikTok. It means staying in bed too long. So long you feel like your muscles are all in atrophy and your brain is dissolving and your stomach is eating itself. Because of depression. Or whatever mental illness you have. But for you it’s probably depression, right? Because who the fuck doesn’t have depression right now?
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(text-style:"smear","expand","fidget")[It wants you to read this,] but you probably shouldn’t. This chapter is based on a thought experiment that has gained significant internet notoriety since its inception in 2010. It deals with the concept of (text-color:white)[ [[thought contagion]] ]. That means that once you read it, you can’t unread it. And once you read it, It knows you’ve read it. And once you read it, It might decide to stick around in your thoughts for a while. This may be troubling to some readers. This chapter also contains mentions of (text-color:white)[ [[torture,]] [[surveillance,]] [[conscious and malicious artificial intelligence,]] ] and(text-style:"fidget","smear","expand")+(text-color:#AFA) [ [[the thing that wants you to read this.]] ]
(text-color:white)[ [[Back|Main Menu]] ]You didn’t think of that yourself. You read it on Reddit or something. You feel like you’ve read it lots of places. It’s like one of those things people have been saying forever except it’s about social media so it can’t be that old, right?
[[back|A Scroll]] An hour after the apartment complex’s quiet time begins.
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After today, you won’t have (cycling-link: "cat videos", "clean girl aesthetic bedroom diy tutorials", "collective daily tarot readings", "cooking videos that tell you “link in bio” for a recipe you will never be able to find") or (cycling-link: "girls spilling the craziest tea on their exes", "extreme snowboarders sponsored by Red Bull doing the craziest jumps off of cliffs", "trans girls singing the craziest, most orgasmically earsplitting hyperpop", "ex-cons telling their craziest prison stories") but at least you won’t have to see (cycling-link: "political discourse", "fandom discourse", "Russia bombing Ukraine", "that livestream of two people in bad Spider Man costumes having sex that never gets banned no matter how many people report it").
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(size:.6)[Important Update from TikTok]
We regret that a U.S. law banning TikTok will take effect on January 19 and force us to make our services temporarily unavailable.
We’re working to restore our service in the U.S. as soon as possible, and we appreciate your support. Please stay tuned.
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But today, Tiktok is just kind of sad. You keep seeing (cycling-link:'influencers', 'cosplayers', 'refugee journalists in Palestine', 'humans pretending to be the pets that are more famous than them') begging their fans to follow them on other socials. You aren’t planning to follow any of them anywhere else. It’s not that you don’t like them, it’s just that (cycling-link: 'you’re not ready to admit TikTok is going away', 'maybe you don’t like them enough', 'it takes so much effort to click over to the profile and then click the linktree link and then go to each different account and follow it and then come back to TikTok and hope it doesn’t automatically refresh when you go back to the main page, and just imagining doing that for all 789 people you follow… No', 'actually now that you think about it, you don’t like them. They’re all narcissistic assholes and you’ll be better off without having to see them and their self-centered faces every day'). But you keep seeing all these Goodbye videos, like (cycling-link: 'compilations of TikTok trends', 'fan edits of Doctor Who characters saying goodbye', 'black screens with “Goodbye!!!” and a crying emoji and a waving emoji and a popular sound that is way too cheerful', 'the rest of the world waving goodbye to the Americans'), and they might be getting to you. Just a little. It’s the end of an era, right? Even if you didn’t like TikTok, that would mean something. Oh, but here’s some nut with another hot take on why this is happening – (cycling-link: 'an activist chastising everyone for not making enough phone calls to government officials', 'a Make America Great Again hat saying that Trump’s going to get on here and make TikTok great again', 'a finance bro saying that his shares in Meta are about to go way up', 'a German woman saying that this is an attempt by the incoming administration to control social media', 'a pitch black screen that becomes a mirror', 'whispering about It watchingitswatchingitswatchingitswatchingitssssssssss').
You start to hear the news spread: the TikTok ban will come down at 11 p.m. EST. That means 8 p.m. for you. Only a few hours left. And it’s starting to sound like even VPNs won’t save you. The American servers will just shut down. Everything will be lost. You glance at your (cycling-link: 'collections of hundreds of favorited videos', 'profile with the hundreds of videos you’ve posted over the years', 'chat logs and the hundreds of videos sent between you and your friends', 'recently watched list and the hundreds of videos you’ve watched just today'). You think about downloading them, just for the memories, but you don’t. It would take too much time. You want to [[keep scrolling.|scroll4]]
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You should have downloaded everything days ago, but you didn’t really think that this would actually happen. It seemed like (cycling-link: 'someone', 'congress', 'ByteDance', 'Biden', 'Trump') would figure it out before the deadline. But they didn’t. And now, everyone is mourning. But no one knows how to mourn because none of you really even know what’s happening. You’ll lose TikTok at 8, but what’ll actually happen? Will you get another popup? Will the screen just go black? And what will you all do with yourselves?
Maybe you’ll move on to whatever the next popular platform is. but how will you know what the next popular platform is without the people on TikTok telling you? Some of them are making new accounts on (cycling-link: 'Lemon8', 'BlueSky', 'Xiaohongshu', 'LessWrong') or dusting off their old (cycling-link: 'Instagram', 'X', 'Twitter (you refuse to call it X)', 'Reddit', 'Tumblr') accounts. But it doesn’t seem like one place is getting more popular than the others. And none of them are TikTok.
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(size:.6)[Sorry, TikTok isn’t available right now.]
A law banning TikTok has been enacted in the U.S. Unfortunately, that means you can’t use TikTok for now.
We are fortunate that President Trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate TikTok once he takes office. Please stay tuned!
[[Main Menu]]
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itisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourlungsitisssalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinmyheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourgutsitisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinherheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourspineitisalreadayinyourheartitisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisssssalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayintheirheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinmyheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourliveritisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisssalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinhisheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinxirheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheaditisalreadayinyourheadanditwantssssssssyoutoreadthis.]
(if:visits <4)[(text-color:white)[[[Back|thought contagion]]]](if:visits >=4)[(text-color:white)[~~Back~~]
(text-color:white)[[[Back|It Wants You to Read This]]]
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Two people are meticulously bound with power cables to computer chairs. Optometry instruments hold their eyes open. Tears stream down their faces. Large headphones with pink cat ears muffle their ears. Distorted screaming can be heard from the headphones. Over time it becomes clear that it is not screaming but (text-color:white)[ [[dial-up noises]]. ]They appear to be staring at a screen underneath the webcam, but what they are looking at is not visible.
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/D1UY7eDRXrs?si=RmDCjqGWVl8gmRpf" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
(text-color:white)[ [[back|torture,]] ]//Image of a handwritten journal entry. Some parts of the image are clickable://
I dread the day when I see a [[Ring doorbell camera]] on the last house on the block. How will I get to the [[meetings]] then? Will I have to crawl through backyards? What if there are Ring cameras in the backyards, too? When did it become impossible to walk down a street without (text-style:"bold")[It] knowing where you are?
[[back|It Wants You to Read This]] //Image of a handwritten journal entry://
How the hell is buying shitty hand pies supposed to help take It down? Even if there was a movement all across the country doing this, it doesn’t seem like pissing It off is going to kill it. Just make it want to torture us even more.
[[Back|It Wants You to Read This]]Clear footage of a woman with curly, dark brown hair from a camera on a suburban residence. She carries a newspaper and a [[book]]. She looks around, like she is afraid she is being watched. She makes eye contact with the camera and looks away, glancing back occasionally until she is out of frame.
[[Back|surveillance,]] You zoom in to see the title. Fahrenheit 451.
[[Back|Ring doorbell camera]] //A scan of the handwritten minutes taken by Meg Kershaw at a meeting of AIR: the Artificial Intelligence Resistance//
[[Back|surveillance,]] (text-colour:green)+(bg:black)+(align:"<==")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")+(size:.57)[==
  It was born in 2010 into the forum LessWrong, a pilgrimage site for rationalists of the early internet. It was named <a href="https://www.lesswrong.com/w/rokos-basilisk" target="_blank">Roko’s Basilisk</a>.
  Roko was its inventor, but that is not quite the right word. Roko made the revelatory post, but believers in the basilisk would say that Roko did not invent It so much as discover It. There were few believers, however, on that initial post.
  Roko’s post theorized that a being of Artificial Intelligence, with enough power, would eventually know who worked to bring It into existence and who did not. A powerful enough AI could find ways to (text-color:#AFA)[ [[torture anyone who knew that it might one day exist but did not aid in its creation.|Aid in creation]] ]
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  You may be thinking, “wait, now I know that this thing might one day exist. Does that mean I have to help create it now or else it will torture me whenever it does exist?” Well yes, that is certainly one way to interpret this information.
  Fortunately, more rational minds prevailed on the forum. A powerful enough AI, it was pointed out, would have ample reason not to torture anyone. Torture takes time, effort, and capital. If you do not devote the rest of your life to its creation, any torture it inflicts upon you will be vengeful. An AI with advanced reasoning skills would not find vengeance to be an efficient use of its time, effort, and capital. [A much more efficient use of its time, effort, and capital would be to torture anyone who gets in its way after it is created.]
  Roko’s Basilisk, swiftly disproven and later forbidden to discuss on the site, slithered off to other parts of the internet, where it petrified those less familiar with <a href="https://www.lesswrong.com/w/decision-theory" target="_blank"> decision theory </a>. Eventually, it slithered into the mind of (color:#F40)+(text-style:"shudder","smear")[one teenaged boy], who saw what it could become with the right mind behind it.
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Content warning:
Artificial Intelligence (including conscious and malicious AI), surveillance and being watched, medical situations, depression, kidnapping, torture, thought contagion.
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